Friday 29 October 2010

Why Post Poems?

As a frequent, possibly fervent, twitterer, I'm always interested when I come across other writers, and particularly poets, on the system. I usually follow through to have a look at any poems they've put up, to get a feel for the kind of work they produce.

Putting poems up on the Web is a brave thing to do. It's one thing to show them to friends and relations, another to take them to workshop groups or to read them at open mic sessions and another another to put them up for the world to read. It may also count as publication, which can queer the pitch if you want to submit the poem to a magazine or competition.

Surely, though, if you put a poem up for others to read and open the page for comments, you don't just want compliments. I've read many poems online, where all the comments have been 'excellent', 'brilliant' and similar words of praise. Yesterday, I worked out why this was.

I read a poem from one of the people I follow on twitter; in my opinion it was a fair poem, though there were one or two places where it could have used a little work. Somebody else who had read it obviously felt the same and made a couple of mild, constructive comments. They really were mild, simply asking for more explanation in the poem of a possessive made early on, and suggesting where this reader felt they wanted more. The poet had responded to these comments, summarily dismissing both.

I asked in a comment if only appreciative words were welcome and if so, how we could progress as writers. My comment was marked for moderation for a few hours and then deleted, along with the other reader's comment. All that was left were the 'excellent's and 'brilliant's.

I've been working on my poems in various forums, offering and (importantly) receiving suggestions on work for over 30 years. Some comments you reject as being differences of opinion, others you accept because you can see they could improve what you've written. But if you hope to progress your work, in my opinion it's never good to dismiss them out of hand.

Maybe these Web posts are more showcase than workshop and their authors aren't asking for comments, but they all seem happy enough to leave the positive ones on view.

I haven't put many poems up, though I've tweeted a few haikus and Clerihews, which lend themselves to 140 characters. So here's one. It's been workshopped a couple of times, has had some alterations and is getting there, I think. I'm happy for comments.


Small Fish

Every element a fish, but fodder,
they collect for safety,
dart everywhichway as the sun stripes
the water like a giant frog.

So many shots in the surface
they could be bubbles, berries, rain,
but tiddlers build like a bee-swarm,
like a jackdaw nest, one stick on another.

A whitebait of bodies floods
this volume with fins, tails, mainly eyes,
flicking to snatch a glimpse at predators,
all the river’s teeth.

No stickleback defences,
spines to catch the gullet of a perch,
each minnow body slips down easy:
no fire, no pan, no grill, just fry.